Deathbed forgiveness seems to be an unquestioned practice, and I want to know why?
A person can spend their whole living life treating everyone around them badly, even those who care about them, and then the moment they pass away all the negativity around them washes away, seemingly completely forgotten... like it never existed.
I have never once heard a bad eulogy, even of those who have led a lifetime of terror.
One example is family. Being a blood relative seems to mean you always have to put your best efforts in to make sure things are mended before the eldest one dies.
But what if the attempts of mending are only one-sided? Is there a point where one should walk away, and accept the inevitability that things will never be resolved?
I can relate to this on a personal level, having been part of an entire family treated badly over the duration of almost three decades.
After a multitude of attempts at sorting through the problems and seeking that equilibrium, there came a point in time where it was time to give up. A person can dedicate only so much of their life to rectifying a problem that does not want to be rectified.
When the person in question was struck down with a serious illness, their behaviour escalated. It was like the person believed being sick was a free ticket to forgiveness of a life time of pain at his hands.
This was the final straw for me. I feel as though I have suffered a life sentence due to his terrible treatment of others, and to me, an illness, no matter how horrible, should not be an automatic warrant for forgiveness.
Illness and death are the two things we can honestly say are non-discriminatory. Death takes us all, eventually. So why should this one thing, that every single one of us will go through, be the golden ticket to forgiveness?
Like most of the great pleasures in our lives, we must earn them. Why should contentedness at the end of our lives be something we do not work hard for while we are living?
If you want me to care for you upon your death, then you must care for me throughout my life.
If you want me to be by your side as you die, then you must be by my side as I live.
If you cannot afford me this love, then I cannot afford you my forgiveness... you do not deserve it.
